Author: aprincessinprocess

Embracing Wonderment

Embracing Wonderment

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.”  Psalm 19:1

Wrestling with a baby 30,ooo feet off the ground is an art that I have become too familiar with over the last 9 months. Summer has now flown 14 times. She wiggles, yells, laughs, cries, flails, punches, pokes, prods, flirts and violently nurses. Sometimes all at once. When I say she is a high-energy, strong-willed kid, I’m not exaggerating. Our trip home in June featured me sobbing with her in front of the entire crew and passengers for a full hour. It was awesome.


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Quest for Quiet

“And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:11

Mom life. I spent all night caring for my sick husband. Cleaning up vomit out of corners of the bedroom and bathroom that I never thought I’d scrub. It was the type of 2am where I found myself on the ground with a bottle of Clorox contemplating just how quickly life changed.

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My Princess Story

“Whatever comes,” she said, “cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.” – Frances Hodgson Burnett, A Little Princess

*I realize this post is a lot about my personal story and it’s long. I promise I’m not trying to be presumptuous. It’s just here for people who are wondering why on earth an adult woman would call herself a princess…

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Life’s Seasons and My War on Squirrels

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1

img_1331Fall is my favorite season. I love the colors, the foods, the clothes, and the weather. Every fall I look forward to decorating and displaying my pumpkins and eating way too much food.

Our first fall, I saved my pennies and went to the store to carefully select the perfect pumpkins. I washed them off and placed them next to my front door. The next morning I got my coffee and nestled onto the couch by the window to enjoy the colorful view when I noticed one of my pumpkins had a giant, ugly hole in it. I ran outside and caught a squirrel in the act of theft. He had eaten the hole in the pumpkin and was actually carrying my baby pumpkin down the sidewalk.

I cleaned up the mess and purchased new pumpkins. The same thing happened the next day.

I began to anticipate this battle each fall. A battle I dreaded. I fostered a new hatred for squirrels and for fall decorating. And suddenly a season that I had associated with such joy had a twinge of frustration associated with it.

On a walk recently I came upon a tree that was in transition. Hints of red shone through the vibrant, green ivy that climbed the tree. I began to contemplate the upcoming war with squirrels that I am sure to face and laughed to myself. The whole idea of going to war with squirrels and the emotions it brought to the surface is actually crazy.

The Lord began to speak to me about embracing the present. The current season. Even if that season is transition, itself.

Looking at that tree made me want for fall. Even the war on squirrels it may possess. It made me sad to say goodbye to summer.

All too often I try and push onward to whatever season is next. Or I try to hold on to a season that is over. I suppose it’s the ambiguity associated with change.

Each season of life comes with its colors. The bright, the ugly, the muted, and the mundane. The option to embrace each color – to learn from each moment, even the ugly ones – is a gift.

I hate transition and the lingering associated with “there, but not quite there yet”… but that’s life. It’s an illustration of the now and the not yet of the Kingdom of God.

Lord, teach me to relish all seasons of life and to uncover the lessons, even in transition.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” Philippians 4:12

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit” –Henry David Thoreau

When Dirty Laundry is the “Court of My God”

“For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” Psalm 103:14

I finally got her down. It was a pre-naptime process that involved tears, restraint, wrestling, ear-piercing white noise (why is that soothing to them!?), a stress ball, and countless breath prayers.

I made my nursery exit feeling an awkward mix of gratification and frustration. I tripped over the dirty laundry in the hall and stumbled down the stairs over dog and baby toys until I found my coffee. This morning would require an extra dose of coffee. And Jesus.

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A Lesson on Grace from My Dishwasher

“First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well” Matthew 23:26

There it is again, staring me straight in the face. It’s the milk container. In the cupboard.

Good grief. How could I do that again? “Mom brain” has officially taken on a whole new meaning lately. This is the second time I’ve tucked the milk safely into the cupboard after my morning coffee. And there it lived for a full 24 hours. Yuck.

So now we are off to a coffee-less morning (because I just can’t drink coffee black). Nonetheless, a little person needs my love and this house needs some serious attention.

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Sleeping in the Bathtub and Giggling at a Funeral

“There is no such thing as a good day, or a bad day. There is only a day of grace. And some days the grace of God allows you to enjoy what is happening and some days the grace of God allows you to endure what is happening. But don’t think about good and bad anymore, just enjoy the grace that is present.” – Graham Cooke

I just couldn’t even handle one more minute of her crying. My head had been barricaded by hotel pillows and a comforter for an hour while Ryan and I took turns shushing and rocking our inconsolable baby in that dark, humid hotel room. It was all so uncomfortable. The weather, the circumstances, the sleeplessness, the emotional intensity, the grieving, the busyness.

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Playing with Trash and Drinking from Toilets

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phil 4:8

My children are intrigued by the dirtiest things. And to define children, I mean my daughter and my dog. My furbaby, Baylor, is my oldest. He is hilarious and crazy. Sort of like an indoor horse with the personality of an innocent toddler. My daughter, Summer, is a fireball straight from Heaven. She is vivacious and energetic and passionate.

I can almost guarantee at any moment both of them would prefer the gross over the clean.


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An Invitation to Friendship

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

I plopped onto the floor by the fireplace with my 9 month old as she tested her newly discovered vocal range and crawling skills. Sweet as she could possibly be in her new fall sweater and jeans, I took a moment to bask in how cute she was – one of those sappy mama moments. She began to crawl toward me and I reached out my hand.

“Want to hold hands?” I asked, expecting her to grab on and walk closer.

She leaned forward and vomited in my hand. Then she smiled, sat down, and crawled away.

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15 Tricks to Surviving Early (Colicky) Parenthood:

In light of our story, which I recently recounted in the post, Peace in a Colicky Storm, I would like to share some of the lessons God has embedded in my soul so far. These have become life rafts for me in the rapids of early parenthood.

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