Summer’s high-pitched crying stole my ability to think. I grabbed my stress ball, plunked down in the rocking chair, and continued to rock my inconsolable baby while allowing every ounce of frustrated energy to pour through my hand and onto that stress ball.
I was beyond depressed. I was angry with the Lord. I felt like He had dealt me the worst hand. No matter what I tried, nothing seemed to work to calm my baby.
Continue reading “Friends who Leave Rocks”
I landed in the bed exhausted and tearful. Phone in hand, I began spilling my thoughts and feelings into a text. I was too angry to talk in person. I was too tired to go downstairs and meet my husband on the couch.
Continue reading “Christmas Wrapped Radishes and 10 Tips for Winning the Fights”
There it was. The white dress dangled from the staircase for that popular snapshot just before it adorned my body. My sister and cousin buttoned up all 1,987 buttons, joking that Ryan would never be able to get that garment it off of me.
I took a sip of champagne and laughed nervously about how I wasn’t sure if I remembered how to kiss, as it had been several years. I was not sure if I even knew what intimacy was. I had waited for this moment for what felt like ages!
Not to kiss. Not to have sex. Not to wear a wedding dress….
I had waited for a promise.
Continue reading “Marriage: Our Most Foolish Commitment”
Since getting married, I’ve kept an ongoing list of advice people gave us that sounded strange, but became the most meaningful pieces of wisdom. I also took time in my recent interviews with couples who have been married 30-50+ years to ask what advice they would offer a young newlywed or engaged couple in order to set them up for a long and happy marriage. I have combined my list and their comments to create…
10 pieces of Unconventional Advice for a Long and Happy Marriage:
Continue reading “10 Pieces of Unconventional Advice for a Long and Happy Marriage”
Disclaimer: In this post I discuss critical subjects surrounding sex and sexuality. I do not dodge popular issues. The Church and sex-ed, for the most part, have done enough dodging. Instead, I use direct language to address these matters. I use words such as porn, orgasm, masturbation, and libido. If this sort of candor causes you to feel discomfort or offense, I lovingly encourage you to spend your time elsewhere.
Continue reading “6 Sex Related Questions and Qualms”
Disclaimer: In this post I discuss critical subjects surrounding sex and sexuality. I do not dodge popular issues. The Church and sex-ed, for the most part, have done enough dodging. If this sort of candor causes you to feel discomfort or offense, I lovingly encourage you to spend your time elsewhere.
Continue reading “Momgerie and Other Sexy Thoughts”
Within the soul of every human being there is an innate thirst to know, and to be known. To love and to be loved. We all have it. This desire rests under our skin and inspires our behaviors, our cravings, and our emotions. It is the rudder by which we steer our lives. This thirst is the reason we choose relationships.
Continue reading “Created for Connections”
1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us”
Laying on the floor surrounded by broken glass, spilled milk, water, oats, and disappointment, I just allowed the tear to dance down my cheek. I couldn’t pretend anymore. I could not apologize anymore for the failure of the day. I had to just press my cheek against the cold ground and let go. And it felt good.
Continue reading “Fishy Chicken: The Art of Being in Relationships”
WARNING: I share these intimate details of my life with hesitation and caution, knowing the great risks associated with sharing such information. I share my story because I desperately want to normalize the hardships that accompany marriages involving a partner with an Eating Disorder. I want to impart hope to couples that are struggling through the relational dance that can feel tangling and disappointing, at times. It is not easy to share these personal details with such a broad audience, so I pray you will consider my story with sensitivity and grace, knowing that every experience and every path is different. So, if you are someone who would take offense or feel uncomfortable reading about my sex life, I encourage you to move along. For others, I pray this entry imparts hope. I pray for those who have found themselves suffering in a relationship impacted by an Eating Disorder – that you would experience personal healing, a fun marital friendship, and the sexual fulfillment God intends for you to have.
Continue reading “Eating Disorders in Bed”
Today is the day I have been waiting for. Today is the day I get to introduce you all to the most amazing man in the world – my husband – Ryan Hudson! This incredibly strong, courageous and tender-hearted man of God has been generous enough to share his experience of my eating disorder from the spouse’s perspective.
I cannot lie – just last night we held hands on the couch with tears in our eyes as we reflected on how far God has carried us. As we re-visited some of the darkest moments of my eating disorder, we were reminded of the soul-level scarring this disorder inflicted on us individually and on our marriage. We celebrate how greatly God has redeemed and restored us as individuals, and how he has touched our marriage in the years following this disorder.
I pray you will take time to read Ryan’s words, particularly if you are supporting someone with an eating disorder. I pray that his story helps to normalize your experience and breathe hope into your journey.
Continue reading “Loving Through Disorder”