I drove circles around the OB office for what felt like hours. I left 30 minutes early to drive these circles just to try and get my baby to fall asleep so that I could have a minute of silence during my follow up appointment.
Continue reading “To be Pulled Across the Battlefield: How to Support Someone with PPD” →
I backed out of my driveway onto the rainy road to make my way to Loveland, Colorado. This was my first alone, overnight trip away from both Ryan and Summer. I was excited and nervous.
As I prepare for this upcoming birth, I began to realize that I wanted a babymoon getaway for just me and Samuel (the baby boy in my belly). Up until this point, I did not realize that was the true craving of my soul, but it was.
I wanted a space to be with Samuel, alone. To bond. To ponder. To pray. To consider all the places I’ve been and the places I may go.
Continue reading “Pulled to the Front: My PPD Journey” →
When I began to piece together arrangements for bringing my baby home in 2015, I worked to fill every gap I could possibly imagine. I planned to have my mother here to help with daily chores. I arranged meals to come in from the church. I organized dog walkers to help with Baylor. I wrote a list on my fridge of daily and weekly to-do’s. I washed, folded and organized all the baby clothes in advance and tucked them neatly into drawers. I put together “welcome” stockings for houseguests filled with lotions and other treats to sustain them while at our home. I carefully planned for every possible need that would arise.
I did not, however, plan my suicide.
Continue reading “The Closet Incident: PPD Awareness” →
It’s been one year. A year that I will never forget. A year that is leaving deep imprints on my soul.
Moving into motherhood, I knew I had nothing
figured out. I knew I was clueless
and that it was going to be hard and that I was going to need friends and family to come alongside us on the journey. I remember questioning the basics: Do I really know how to change a diaper? Am I supposed to burp her if she falls asleep or just let her be? Do I heat the bottle up in the microwave or on the stovetop or under water? Does any of this matter?
Continue reading “I’m Unfit for Motherhood” →
Walking in relationship with someone who stands in the grip of an eating disorder must feel like an impossibly delicate position.
Everyone experiences eating disorders differently. Everyone is triggered by different words and situations. What triggers me may not trigger someone you know with an Eating Disorder and vice versa.
It’s important to tune into the individual struggling and learn from careful observation, good questions, and genuine conversation to know exactly what words, phrases, and behaviors act as triggers for him or her.
Continue reading “10 Phrases to Not Say to Someone with an Eating Disorder” →
Your heart is beating in your toes and hands start to perspire. You feel as red as a stoplight and as nervous as a skydiver. In fact, many people would prefer skydiving.
Continue reading “Confrontation” →