I plundered ahead in my chores. We were digging out from under mounds of dirty laundry, undone dishes, and still carrying an intense craving for sleep. Summer had been diagnosed with the flu the week before. We saw temperatures rise to 106, and had poured hours of time into seeking remedies online, and consulting doctors and nurses. We are so grateful we are all now healthy.
I recall the tears clouding my vision at 2AM as I rocked my inconsolable 3 week old. I was sleep deprived, still recovering from birth, and felt like a mommy failure. I consulted Google and Facebook pages to try and find answers. As if my tired brain could handle one more obstacle, I found the online community of moms using a language I had never seen. I needed a translator. Or, at the very least, one place to de-code this new language. After months of using the internet for guidance in my mothering journey, I do believe I may be nearly fluent, or at least conversational in this online mama language ;).
I hope this tool helps a new mama interpret her findings. I plan to continually update this dictionary.
Online Acronym ~ English
AAP – American Academy of Pediatrics
BM – Breast Milk
BF – Breast Feeding
When I first discovered I was pregnant, I did what any resourceful Millennial would do, I consulted the World Wide Web. “How far along am I?” I asked Google. “How big is my baby?” “When am I due?” “When do I call the doctor?” “How should I tell my husband?”
What I found online was unexpected.
Summer’s high-pitched crying stole my ability to think. I grabbed my stress ball, plunked down in the rocking chair, and continued to rock my inconsolable baby while allowing every ounce of frustrated energy to pour through my hand and onto that stress ball.
I was beyond depressed. I was angry with the Lord. I felt like He had dealt me the worst hand. No matter what I tried, nothing seemed to work to calm my baby.
I landed in the bed exhausted and tearful. Phone in hand, I began spilling my thoughts and feelings into a text. I was too angry to talk in person. I was too tired to go downstairs and meet my husband on the couch.
There it was. The white dress dangled from the staircase for that popular snapshot just before it adorned my body. My sister and cousin buttoned up all 1,987 buttons, joking that Ryan would never be able to get that garment it off of me.
I took a sip of champagne and laughed nervously about how I wasn’t sure if I remembered how to kiss, as it had been several years. I was not sure if I even knew what intimacy was. I had waited for this moment for what felt like ages!
Not to kiss. Not to have sex. Not to wear a wedding dress….
I had waited for a promise.
Since getting married, I’ve kept an ongoing list of advice people gave us that sounded strange, but became the most meaningful pieces of wisdom. I also took time in my recent interviews with couples who have been married 30-50+ years to ask what advice they would offer a young newlywed or engaged couple in order to set them up for a long and happy marriage. I have combined my list and their comments to create…
10 pieces of Unconventional Advice for a Long and Happy Marriage:
Disclaimer: In this post I discuss critical subjects surrounding sex and sexuality. I do not dodge popular issues. The Church and sex-ed, for the most part, have done enough dodging. Instead, I use direct language to address these matters. I use words such as porn, orgasm, masturbation, and libido. If this sort of candor causes you to feel discomfort or offense, I lovingly encourage you to spend your time elsewhere.
Disclaimer: In this post I discuss critical subjects surrounding sex and sexuality. I do not dodge popular issues. The Church and sex-ed, for the most part, have done enough dodging. If this sort of candor causes you to feel discomfort or offense, I lovingly encourage you to spend your time elsewhere.
Within the soul of every human being there is an innate thirst to know, and to be known. To love and to be loved. We all have it. This desire rests under our skin and inspires our behaviors, our cravings, and our emotions. It is the rudder by which we steer our lives. This thirst is the reason we choose relationships.