I fought around the boxes and the misplaced decorations with the toddler on my hip. The blank walls and empty kitchen cupboards were beginning to taunt me.
Somewhere between the positive pregnancy test, selling our home, and purchasing a new home, life’s requirements began steering our hearts and our schedules.
Continue reading “The Day I Forgot to Wear Pants”
As Ryan and I began planning our recent vacation, I dreamt of what was to come. We both felt the Lord speak that this was a “healing vacation” for us. We felt He highlighted two Scriptures for this season of healing, as well as for our vacation:
“Your sun shall no more go down nor your moon withdraw itself for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended,” Isaiah 60:20.
We also felt the Lord highlighting Isaiah 61:3 “…to grant to those who mourn in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.”
Continue reading “When Healing Looks Different”
When I began to piece together arrangements for bringing my baby home in 2015, I worked to fill every gap I could possibly imagine. I planned to have my mother here to help with daily chores. I arranged meals to come in from the church. I organized dog walkers to help with Baylor. I wrote a list on my fridge of daily and weekly to-do’s. I washed, folded and organized all the baby clothes in advance and tucked them neatly into drawers. I put together “welcome” stockings for houseguests filled with lotions and other treats to sustain them while at our home. I carefully planned for every possible need that would arise.
I did not, however, plan my suicide.
Continue reading “The Closet Incident: PPD Awareness”
I plundered ahead in my chores. We were digging out from under mounds of dirty laundry, undone dishes, and still carrying an intense craving for sleep. Summer had been diagnosed with the flu the week before. We saw temperatures rise to 106, and had poured hours of time into seeking remedies online, and consulting doctors and nurses. We are so grateful we are all now healthy.
Continue reading “Holding to Empty Spaces”
I recall the tears clouding my vision at 2AM as I rocked my inconsolable 3 week old. I was sleep deprived, still recovering from birth, and felt like a mommy failure. I consulted Google and Facebook pages to try and find answers. As if my tired brain could handle one more obstacle, I found the online community of moms using a language I had never seen. I needed a translator. Or, at the very least, one place to de-code this new language. After months of using the internet for guidance in my mothering journey, I do believe I may be nearly fluent, or at least conversational in this online mama language ;).
I hope this tool helps a new mama interpret her findings. I plan to continually update this dictionary.
Online Acronym ~ English
AAP – American Academy of Pediatrics
BM – Breast Milk
BF – Breast Feeding
Continue reading “Online Mama ~ English Dictionary”
When I first discovered I was pregnant, I did what any resourceful Millennial would do, I consulted the World Wide Web. “How far along am I?” I asked Google. “How big is my baby?” “When am I due?” “When do I call the doctor?” “How should I tell my husband?”
What I found online was unexpected.
Continue reading “Understanding The Millennial Mom”
Summer’s high-pitched crying stole my ability to think. I grabbed my stress ball, plunked down in the rocking chair, and continued to rock my inconsolable baby while allowing every ounce of frustrated energy to pour through my hand and onto that stress ball.
I was beyond depressed. I was angry with the Lord. I felt like He had dealt me the worst hand. No matter what I tried, nothing seemed to work to calm my baby.
Continue reading “Friends who Leave Rocks”
I landed in the bed exhausted and tearful. Phone in hand, I began spilling my thoughts and feelings into a text. I was too angry to talk in person. I was too tired to go downstairs and meet my husband on the couch.
Continue reading “Christmas Wrapped Radishes and 10 Tips for Winning the Fights”
There it was. The white dress dangled from the staircase for that popular snapshot just before it adorned my body. My sister and cousin buttoned up all 1,987 buttons, joking that Ryan would never be able to get that garment it off of me.
I took a sip of champagne and laughed nervously about how I wasn’t sure if I remembered how to kiss, as it had been several years. I was not sure if I even knew what intimacy was. I had waited for this moment for what felt like ages!
Not to kiss. Not to have sex. Not to wear a wedding dress….
I had waited for a promise.
Continue reading “Marriage: Our Most Foolish Commitment”
Since getting married, I’ve kept an ongoing list of advice people gave us that sounded strange, but became the most meaningful pieces of wisdom. I also took time in my recent interviews with couples who have been married 30-50+ years to ask what advice they would offer a young newlywed or engaged couple in order to set them up for a long and happy marriage. I have combined my list and their comments to create…
10 pieces of Unconventional Advice for a Long and Happy Marriage:
Continue reading “10 Pieces of Unconventional Advice for a Long and Happy Marriage”