Change – The act or instance of making or becoming different due to an influence.

It is important to recognize our role in change. Change occurs because of a person or event that is influential in our lives. We can cause change through relationships, prayer, advocacy, and choices.

We must become more aware of how our responses to events and other people have changed and can change our lives.

Dealing with Disappointment –

Disappointments can teach us valuable lessons. Disappointments can be experienced as setbacks, annoyances, failures, hindrances, and pain. They could also be viewed as delays, learning moments, opportunities for re-evaluation, chances to develop faith, patience, and perseverance, motivation, and stepping stones into our next season of life. God’s heart is to promote us to greater things in Him! And we know that “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him” Romans 8:28.

What are some disappointments you have experienced?

How might you allow God to use those disappointments as an opportunity for “promotion” in Him?

How we respond to disappointments will bring change to our lives and to our environments. We have influence over those around us, just like other people have an influence over us.

Name some people that you have influence over:

1) ________________________

2) ________________________

3) ________________________

Who are some people that have influence over you:

1) ________________________

2) ________________________

3) ________________________

Let us unpack some of our history to identify areas where we can be agents of change…sometimes we don’t even realize how our history shapes us. We might have not known our great-great grandmother who happened to be an alcoholic, but guess what? Your grandmother probably did, and her life impacted your mom (whether she was around or not), and your mom’s life was inevitably impacted by this behavior, and thus, her parenting you was also, in some way, shaped by her mom which affects you! Have you ever had that moment when you thought “Oh my gosh I sounded just like (my mom, my dad, my aunt, my grandfather, etc.)”? That’s because through the family tree we innately inherit patterns of behavior and thinking. Sometimes this is a good! And sometimes, these inherited patterns are bad. It is our job to critically consider our family tree so that we can break cycles of poor behavior and be agents of change.

A DESCRIPTIVE FAMILY TREE 

You are going to draw a diagram (shoot for at least 3 generations). You want to include as many people as you can remember. You can draw lines to show relationships. If you want, you can make it look just like a typical family tree, or you can utilize the more common mental health format known as a Genogram (use this link to learn more – http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Genogram).

Next to each family member, you need to make specific notes. Important areas to highlight on the diagram include

• Drug abuse
• Alcohol abuse
• Teen Pregnancy
• Incarcerations
•  Physical/Sexual abuse
• Divorce/Significant relationship problems
•  Educational achievements
• Leadership/Professional roles in society
• Spiritual beliefs

After finishing your family tree, take a moment to consider what patterns of behaving and thinking you want to change. You have an opportunity to be a change agent for future generations!

Part 3 of grief & loss curriculum