Anger & Regret

Anger: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure and hostility

Some verses that address anger…

Ephesians 4:26-31 “In your anger do not sin”

James 1:19-20 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Proverbs 19:11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Anger can manifest itself in several ways including depression, inappropriate/sinful behavior, passive aggressive behavior, or an appropriate expression of anger.

Several important steps can be taken to experience anger and express yourself in a healthy way:

  • Know your triggers.

Common triggers include: insults, putdowns, (perceived) failure, rejection, not getting credit for something, disrespect, injustice, feelings of powerlessness or lack of control, not feeling loved, being unjustly accused, etc.

List 3 of your triggers:

1)     _____________________________

2)     _____________________________

3)     _____________________________

  • Know your warning signs.

Common warning signs include: tense muscles, loud or mean voice, fast heartbeat, fast breathing, feeling depressed, wanting to fight or break things, crying and withdrawing, etc.

List 3 of your warning signs:

1)     _____________________________

2)     _____________________________

3)     _____________________________

  • Know how to respond.

One good way to respond when you see these warning signs or you notice a triggering event is to remember the acronym “SIT.” Which stands for Stop, Identify, and Talk. What are some other ways you can respond?

Regret: A feeling of sadness, repentance or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.

Some verses that address regret:

Philippians 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly regret produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldy grief produces death.

Guilt and regret are very common feelings experienced by individuals who are grieving whether or not these feelings are appropriate or even rational. Guilt is often the key factor that keeps people from adjusting and growing through the experience of loss.

Guilt can occur due to being a “survivor,” excessive thinking about the “should have’s” and “if only’s,” or something we did or failed to do.

What are some areas that are causing you to feel regret? Complete the following sentences.

1)     I wish I had said ___________________________

2)     I wish my loved one would have said ___________________________

3)     I wish I had not said ___________________________

4)     I wish my loved one would have not said ___________________________

5)     I wish I had ___________________________

6)     I wish my loved one would have ___________________________

What are some ways that you can let go of these feelings of guilt/regret?

Part 2 of grief & loss curriculum 

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