Writing throughout my journey of deliverance from my eating disorder and negative physical perception is incredibly sanctifying. I know one day I’ll look back with a posture of gratitude, seeing the intricate ways God met me and delivered me from layers of oppression and torment. This is a continual journey, though. From glory to glory, moment to moment, we are transformed.
I have recently noticed several pockets within me that need to been grown and strengthened. I’m leaning into the heart of God to heal deeper places of brokenness that involve my eating disorder and false self-perception. We all know the human soul is incredibly integrated. These types of battles are simply manifested brokenness. We can’t stop at behavior modification, we must dig deep. Forgo fear.
Face down before My King, I’m continuing to notice how He truly makes simple the complex. He uses the ordinary in extraordinary ways. Just when I begin to dive into the deeper places of His heart, He gently reminds of of how simple He is. His Kingdom breaks into our world through children, through laughter, through simple prayers and ordinary people. I am not saying you are ordinary , or that I am- in fact, we are extremely unique, special and powerful in our own ways. I am saying that Love Himself uses the most unqualified, unequipped people (aka: us) to change the world. We need only to be willing.
He uses the broken, the bruised, the lost, the lonely, and the unqualified. He delights in every single one of us. Not just those who seem to have it all together. The Book says he uses what the world considers foolish to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). There is something extremely precious God deposited within those who call on His name. Your Maker delights in using you. Broken, confused, faithless, you. He is so complex that He is simple. And He is so simple that He is complex. Live Love and watch Perfection and the Supernatural break into your world. Let us pray for the sick and wounded despite our reservations and disbelief and allow opportunity for Heaven to kiss earth and change lives through us. What’s the worst that could happen?
With the mess I’ve discovered in my heart over the last weeks, I’ve doubted my ability to make a difference. I have had moments of feeling convinced that I have nothing to add or share with the world. And then He comes. And does something extraordinary through me when I am at my weakest point. I don’t deserve it, and I feel nothing but broken. But this is the beauty of the Kingdom of God. We can be totally broken and used by Him at the same time. Because He is good.
Yet we are never defined or valued based on how He uses us. Our worth is not based on our productivity or our ‘doings.’ We could sit in a room alone always and live a life of mistakes forever and He would Love us the same. He just wants better for us so He invites us into a unique Kingdom adventure everyday. He’s delightful.
“They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from the river of your delights” Psalm 36:8